I began to accept the things I had kept hidden within myself.That because he was a man worthy of the love and devotion of my Mistress,and because she ...wned me, then maybe he would... play a more central rolein my future. I was caught up in these thoughts.Until she rolled off of him."Clean up."I started to climb onto the bed, very gingerly, the pain returning to mylittle eggs so harshly. Kissing her feet in adoration, I expected her toopen and allow me access. But she kept her legs closed to me.. Emotionally I was destroyed. I was depressed. I hated lying down in a bed. I made two attempts at getting out of bed but both times ended up on the floor much to the annoyance of the nurses that had to put up with me. I was a terrible patient. The other problem was when I was on the pain killers. When I had a window of no pain I often became aroused with thoughts of Becky. Usually these occurred at night when my pain meds were boosted so I could sleep. In the beginning when I felt able I. More

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