This could be the single greatest speech I ever make.The press secretary looked inquiringly at me.I nodded.He took the rostrum.The press room quieted....Ladies and gentlemen, the God Given President of the United States."The members of the press corps stood. A few people clapped. I took note of those people. They would get front row seats starting Saturday. Everybody else's press credentials were going to be stripped from them. They are probably all a bunch of blasphemers who think I've been in. I wasn’t sure if she was aware of what was happening. Could she not feel my foot there? Maybe she thought I was asleep. I had not moved a muscle and didn’t want to. Suddenly the buzzer from the washing machine went off. She didn’t do anything at first, but 30 seconds later it buzzed again. “Shit,” she got up angrily and went into the laundry room. I couldn’t believe it was ruined. What were the odds my foot fell right in between my Aunt Jillian’s sweet thighs and pressed against her warm. More

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