“She’s dead, Andrew. Cecilia Scott died just hours ago,” she said.“Oh my,” I said. “Thar’s awful. I really liked her. She did her best f...r Kari, and for me too.”“The funeral is Saturday. Carlton is taking care of everything. There will be a service at the church and then, well, then the funeral at 2nd Baptist,” she said. “And oh, that was Carlton on the phone. He hopes we’ll come.”“You should go,” I said.“And you too, right?” she said.“No, she’ll be there, so I won’t be,” I said.“Andrew this is. How can one just surrender their thoughts, their senses? I go through the days of my regular life having to be serious, stay serious… stay in control of myself. Coolly dealing with the realities of life. How then do I surrender myself? The very thought of doing this awakens something in me that has lain dormant. I WANT IT! To not be bound by anything, to explore and be explored. To discover and be discovered, mind… body… soul… all senses. Oh, the allure! The attraction of just letting go…. More

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