My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? ...eyoncé.Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.Why didn’t. This made me both angry and jealous. My sister and I had an unusual relationship. We were always, much closer than most brothers and sisters, and even at fifteen I would give my life for her without hesitation. The trust we shared and how she looked up to me could be chalked up to the fact that our parents are always away on business trips. They worked for apple, but wanted more time close to home, so they could be with their two kids. Traveling all over the world, they couldn’t keep up with. More

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