I have seen you laugh so hard you are reduced to gasping and coughing, so much so I am concerned. I have seen the best and worst sulks and tantrums ec...o from your being, met with both my hidden smile and anger. But to any other man who walks this earth you are mellow in your emotions, ever calm, ever stable. You do your best but I see the shadow shows, the man holding onto the only way he knows to row through his fears and sadness. Your formality in your high soft voice breaks my heart on. At my insistence I didn’t move in with him right away. I was still marginally sensible and I feared drowning in him. Never before had I felt such a connection, such an intuitive, intimate way of being known. And a piece of me was afraid. It was not a fear of losing Peter, it was a fear of finding myself. He spoke to a dark place in me that I knew existed but felt I was keeping successfully under control. Besides the immediacy and the unusualness of our connection there was no evidence for this. More

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