I had to stand to attention, with my hands pressed hard against my sides, head up and look straight ahead, no eye contact, perhaps more for his benefi..., than mine, but after a short time I could feel the discomforture of maintaining this torturous position, but that was its reason, he needed me to default, an act of disobedience, a reason to make me understand I had been naughty and therefore deserved what I got in punishment.'Stand still girl', he barked at me, I wavered, about to faint, the. I knew many green soldiers died their first month in combat. I didn't want to die and though irrational, it really bothered me that I might die a virgin. If I got back, I swore that I would become a good student. I had withdrawn from Yale in good standing. I thought, I can return. Thirteen months and I can be back in New Haven. This time I will enjoy college. I need to get some separation from Mother. She is really getting me down. When I get back, she will be in Florida most of the time.At. More

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