I’d die first.Sometimes it became confusing. I was never sure if I detested her boyfriends because they were inevitably revealed to be the same abus...ve asshole, or if I was simply jealous. My heart ached for her after every breakup, but it was impossible for me to determine if I felt that way because I was her brother, or because of something more, or both. And sometimes – rarely, I told myself – she was all I could think about. Like last night.Mostly, I was okay with it. Dealt with it. It was. Sure I had had sex before, not many times, and other than being told I was really good at giving a blowjob by two of my exes, I was pretty inexperienced and naive. My mother was a strict Christian, so if she found out she might kill me. My father had lost his faith, being paralyzed after a work accident, and though we shared a common hobby in watching some sports, he was non-existent in my life, mainly due to his depression since the accident, which was years prior. The accident that had. More

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