That night I just stumbled in bed and fell asleep, but the feeling ofdespair and hesitation were in every dream.In the morning I wasn't able to keep m...urning, I felt sad and crappy,but I had chores to do. I woke up at six like every morning and decidedto use a black slip and a silk robe. I prepared breakfast like always.When he went down he was already dressed in a suit like always, he sawme and shouted at me "What did I say? You look like shit, you have tobe PERFECT at all times, you can't. I protested, probably a little too vehemently, when my wife tried to make me to go to see the ship's nurse and get something to stop me feeling ill. I knew exactly what was wrong, I just couldn't tell her. Josie had always instinctively known when something wasn't right with me, she could read me like a book when I was trying to keep something from her. Consequently, this time she was clearly suspicious about why I was refusing to go to the sick bay. She didn't push it though. Deep down I think. More

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