My wife has used this machine for years and never had a problem with it, but every time I come within six feet of it, it becomes a hypochondriac. Need...es fall out, belts break, and gears grind. The thread tension becomes as erratic as the chart of a brain wave, leaving great gobs of thread on the underside of whatever is being sewn.This time I approached it as I would a faithful old dog. I patted it on the head, spoke kindly nonsense to it and stroked its well worn spine. I softly explained. " "Okay, we'll see you both Sunday night," he mentioned, prior to standing back up. "See you two later," my mom said, waving to us. They both left and then as soon as they door shut, she attacked me. "I love you, Claude," she stated, letting her arms slither under me and kissing me. We made out for about two minutes until her lips parted from mine. "Are you packing some heat, or are you turned on?" "Both, I guess. You aren't as bad as he made you out to be." "I know, now will you kiss me. More

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