Part of what happened to me was he justified his attacks on me because ofmy feminine side. He made me so afraid of my desire to be female that iburied...it until I was approaching puberty. Then the sense of wrongness,the horrible feeling that somehow, I was going in the wrong directionbecame overwhelming. But I kept it hidden as best as I could.Then I became a Christian. This made my conflict even stronger, as I wasinducted into a conservative branch of the faith, and felt sure that myneed for. I set off down the side road, and did have to hide behind bushes and trees on at least four or five occasions, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't seen. The closest I came was when I hid in a yard to avoid a car, and a light in the house came on. I couldn't move to the other side of the bush, because there was still a car coming. As I looked at the house in dread, my female English teacher, Dr. Smith walked by the window. She was reading as she walked by, not looking up and certainly not looking out. More

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