Actually he was hopping she wouldn't. He wanted her to come to him and ASK to be fucked."Oh I see mom. It's ok if you spread your legs for someone els... though," he said accusingly. "That you went around taking pictures and buying dildos so you could fuck yourself silly for some guy online who's name you didn't even KNOW!!" John began yelling at his mom now."John it wasn't like that... I." Janice fell silent. I was like that, and she knew it. Everything her son was saying was true. She couldn't. I’d never gone topless before (true). I knew Mum would freak, which seemed like the ultimate in hypocrisy, all things considered.Looking back, I’d have preferred my grandiose unveiling to have been on some tropical island, or on a rich man’s yacht in the Seychelles, but I’d also have preferred my first shag to have been with Morten Harket - sometimes shit just doesn’t roll your way. So my moment came amongst the backdrop of bell clunking donkeys’ and ice cream vans on Blackpool beach instead.. More

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