Someone would get a bollocking for this. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I must have forgotten to give the Legion a forwarding address, silly me.’ ‘Yes we...l,’ he said, ‘we never forget one of our own, just a welfare call to check all is OK with you.’ ‘Yes all fine thanks, you…’ ‘Would it be OK if I popped round sometime?’ ‘There’s no need really,’ she said. Last thing she wanted was one of those old fools dragging her back to the club so they could buy her a Bacardi and coke and stick her in the corner of. ‘Don’t thank me yet, babe,’ he said, handing me a mirror. I swore. I had known they were going to adjust my eyebrows, but my eyebrows were so arched and rounded now that the effect even caused my eyes to be opened just slightly wider than normal. I looked stunned. Grrrrrrrr! I was escorted back onstage, and the camera came back to life. Chrissie had to step just outside the pan range of the camera, as she couldn’t stop laughing at my perpetually surprised look. I really wanted to hurt her. Biff. More

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