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“I have a cat, too,” she said, “but he’s out searching for small furry creatures of nervous disposition that might make a tasty snack. Every s...ngle woman must have a cat. It’s the law.”The cat, she told me, was called Rasputin. Jen said her male antecedent, Martin Matheson, had been a college teacher who couldn’t keep his hands off young women students. He’d have been sacked and prosecuted if Mandy’s team hadn’t abducted him after he’d raped Virginia Mitchell. Jen was eternally grateful that. Womanless, we became serial masturbators and wet dreamers. Big cocked horny nerds who used their hands as sorry imitations of the real thing.And so, in desperation, one rainy Friday night in late April, as we had sat commiserating with each other over another dateless weekend, we'd decided that we had to make an action plan. That if we didn't want to be losers the rest of our lives we'd better do something about it.The first thing we'd done was simply write off the rest of our senior high. More

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