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’ ‘Bob?’ ‘Yes please. You didn’t tell me that you’d invited John over for lunch,’ I said. ‘Didn’t I?’ she said, getting some be...rs from the fridge. ‘I thought I did. Pilchards or tuna John? It’s just a salad lunch.’ ‘Oh, ah, pilchards please,’ he said as I waved him to a seat at the table. Sally came in with the plates and a bowl of salad and then followed up with a plate of bread and butter and a dish of pilchards and sat down with us. It was only after our meal and we were having coffee. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'That's not what I said!'6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?', the doctor asked. 'No! Jackass!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!!In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a. More

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