And to enjoy each other's bodies freely, without guilt and resistance. Our days now consisted of doing our separate things, my school and his work, an... daydreaming about each other the entire time we were apart, like we were both giddy preteens in puppy love. I'd rush home, knowing he wouldn't be there yet but still anxious to get there as quickly as possible just in case, waiting there with a watchful eye on the front door and listening for his car in the driveway, eager for the moment he'd. I don't know if I can make it make sense enough to fit it into words.30/11/05--------Howard says there will still be something left of me afterwards. When he saw that this upset me he reassured me that I probably wouldn't be aware of it.All these times I wished I could be someone other than me and now it's finally going to happen. It feels like impending death, which I suppose it is. My memories will be gone, as will most of what makes me me. I'll just be the raw material for someone new. . More

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