Fortunately, she still looked as beautiful as her photograph in the newspapers. Indeed, she looked almost alive as the mortician had done a good job. ...he two men were sorely tempted to have their way with her corpse but they did not want to risk damaging this piece of precious cargo. They have to satisfy themselves with kissing and stroking her dead face and fondling her cold but still supple milk swollen breasts. They placed her body in their car and drove off to where the holy man was living. Monday morning, I consulted with the alpha male sage of our mullet-sporting sub-group and he told me the straight dope on crashing through "the iron gates of life," with my sore-headed soda-can cock. The next time we met, I came equipped: a fire-engine red 76 Camaro, a four pack of peach wine coolers, a small jar of Vaseline I had liberated from my mom's medicine cabinet, and, most importantly, a raging erection. After a few drinks of the disgusting potent potables, we began our earnest quest. More

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