I tried to hold off as long as I could, but it was no use. It felt like a bomb had exploded inside of me as I reached orgasm for the first time in yea...s. Once I finished climaxing, I cleaned things up and took a well-deserved shower. For several days after that, all I had to do was think of her stroking me as I tried again to achieve yet another orgasm. I would get hard, hold off, then hit 'the nerve' and drive myself to explosion. Some days I would do so several times, thinking of how. . Well, it’s so hard to separate myself from it all. I should be able to turn my back on them, push them out of my mind. But, I always feel I am tearing myself away from them. And the ‘tearing’ is so painful. There is still part of me, inside, which does not want to make the break.”There’s a heavy lump of anxiety and disappointment in my stomach as she says this. There is a lot I could say. There are questions I should ask. I don’t, though. I think it best to keep my mouth shut. I do not trust. More

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