“Do you want to find another therapist? Or a doctor? Or maybe try a clinical trial…?”I shook my head.I was ready, but the conversation was still...hard.“I want to end it.”We looked into each other’s eyes for a long time, waiting for the other person to blink. He looked away first and nodded that he understood.“Ethan…I want you to be able to enjoy it…”“How?”I started describing what I wanted. I could tell he was interested, but conflicted. My severe depression aside, we had a good life. But not all right enough that some smokin’ hot little teenaged athlete was really flirting with me. And even if….even if… she was, an opportunity to do something about it was not going to present itself. Right?The rest of the day passed as beach days do, with lots of swimming, eating, playing soccer in the sand, and just relaxing. And there was nothing else to indicate that what I had been imagining as I rubbed lotion on Scarlet was anything more than my middle-aged lustful imagination getting. More

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