It’s up to you to make dinner so you can crash. You go to the kitchen to see what you have available.Huh. There’s a note on the counter. “Hiya, ...andsome! There’s a surprise waiting for you in the bedroom. Love you lots!”She’s so sweet. You debate whether you’ll make dinner first or see the surprise. The surprise wins out.The path to your bedroom is dark, as if someone has closed all the blinds. As you grope for the light switch, you hear a throaty voice say, “Don’t turn on the light, mister.” A. I was her boss and I insisted it was mud; not that cheap-skate runny mud they have in Florida and the tropics, the stuff that looks like just dirt and water all mixed up together. This looked, felt, and tasted like one-hundred percent frozen, volcanic sludge-like mud with all the physical qualities of cement.I buzzed her:"Claudia, this isn't coffee ... This is -" - mud, I know. Why do you keep asking me to make it then?" It's my prerogative, I'm your boss. Now be a good girl and make me a fresh. More

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