I feel fortunate that the opportunityhas finally become reality. I do have my hesitations but I amalso happier now knowing that Amy is accepting this.... fall back to sleep thinking about all that has happened. It isnot long and Adrian is in my bed hugging me from behind. Talkabout an emotional roller coaster. Previously I was justsettling into the fact that I would never see my wife again. Nowthat Amy has made her intentions clear but still not knowing howreal they will be, coupled with the fact. I knew I was disposable to him, he made no attempt to hide that fact, like I was a napkin or a paper towel. So what else could I do but scream and cry… just as I loathed… just as he loved… For fifteen minutes he raped me. For fifteen minutes he degraded me, using every word that he could to convince me I was nothing more than a means to his end. Every time he commanded me to scream I wanted to bite my lip and tell him to go fuck himself, but every single time he had a way to get me to fail.. More

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