''But if I was to put on the suit, it would be obscene, me trying on thisdress, like...' I unsuccessfully struggled for words.'You don't know what it ...ould be like until you try it, Chris. It reallywouldn't do any harm, would it? If you do look obscene, then we give itup and have a good shag instead. How does that sound?'My mind silently screamed at me: 'Yes, but please, please, let it fit -that would be a hundred times better than sex with you.'To her, I said: 'I suppose I could try it. As you. Always helps. Anyway, a joy for her to be able to have it in the rolling hills and valleys (I'd promised to try and not pronounce that word as if it were two: val-leys). Pain in the ass for me to drive. Have you tried the M4 on a Friday evening lately? Don't bother. You'll still be there at midnight. It wasn't shy of that when I reached the hotel. I'd phoned her earlier outside Reading. And again outside Bristol. And Cardiff. I'd told her not to bother staying up to meet me and to get her some. More

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