“Oh, son, I don’t think it’s acceptable in 2020 to have whips like these for the animals,” she chided.“Tough shit!” I responded, having no...good comeback for that one.“Language, Steve-O!” Mom huffed.I sighed.“Where’s the hole in this red rubber ball? How do you wear it as a clown’s nose?”“Mom, let’s just…”“Ooh, what are these tiny little clamps for?” she asked, picking up the new nipple clamps I’d bought for my gal.“Those are nail clippers, Ma!” Hey, her sight is failing too, she might believe. They emit low amounts of static charges underground in their burrows like a pulse, and their meals stupidly crawl to them. An evolutionary puzzle, to be sure.“Bye, gorgeous! You can clean me up anytime, Darlin’!” I quipped as the sexy nurse pushed her cart out of the room, the door automatically clicking shut behind her.So what do you expect her to be able to do to help you? Did you have a plan in mind already?“You’re acting awfully smug for a guy who’s shackled to a table and doesn’t know. More

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