.. Despite my coming out, I was no closer to being 'one ofthe girls' than I was on my sixteenth birthday. The only difference wasthat I was no longer ... virgin, but even that was no comfort.I had other boyfriends during my year at sixth form college, of course,but none of those relationships lasted long. Whenever it came tolovemaking, I had no problem being 'the woman', but whenever it was myturn to be 'the man', it just felt fundamentally wrong, like it was notwho I was supposed to be- and. It became clear to me that my liveried bodyguards had wanted to fight then and there, but were instead relegated at my defence, my castle and my walls blue and green as was their livery, and I could not blame them. Rebellious schemers that they are, these men of the field, mustered away at the call of battle. I must admit to being afraid of my ‘guardians’, afraid of being knifed in the back, but what Odo says must be done, or heads would be removed for Odo sets the rules in a land without a. More

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