The question mark shaped stain caused me to contemplate what the rest of my life would be like. I could be facing another 30 years of impotence; with ...ll the frustration, depression, disappointment and humiliation which accompanies the condition.I suppose it was that moment of startling clarity of how my future would be which was the genesis for my decision to end it all, although at the time I hadn't consciously contemplated suicide.An interlude of introspection.When did I lose my soul? When. I must have been too noisy (on purpose) because I got a nasty look and a sarcastic request to "try and keep it down."I told her I don't feel well. "I must be coming down with the flu." I mumbled an apology, but somehow managed to slam the bedroom door when I left.I went downstairs and got Mrs. Williams out of the cooler. After checking her both visually and for any tell tale odors, I put her on the small elevator and sent her upstairs to the viewing room. There I placed her casket flowers in. More

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