As I walk up I can feel how my chest moves oddly andmy hips seems to sway in a not unpleasant way. Have Ialways walked this way? "Miss, I would ask th...t you not return to thisestablishment. It's okay for Mr. Turner but your businessis not wished here." he told me flat out. I was pissed. I've never been so insulted in my life!I'm a legitimate businessman and have never been so rudelytalked to by a desk monkey in all my days. I grabbed him by the collar and lifted him off theground with my arm. " Jacob Bailey." Mr. Bailey, you are charged with one count of underage drinking and one count of conspiracy to furnish alcohol to a minor. How do you plead?" Guilty, your honor." On both counts?" Yes sir." In that case, I sentence you to 90 days in the county jail followed by nine months of home confinement and 2500 hours of community service on the first count and an additional 500 hours of community service on the second count. I further stipulate that you are not to wear any shoes or socks. More

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