Why do i have such self-doubt? The answer is because i have not accepted myself for who and what i am. Why haven't i? i honestly don't know. i continu... to look at Him, wondering if i should wait for Him to prompt me for my answer. i find myself unwilling (or unable?) to speak. He has done nothing to deserve this nonsense, and i begin to kick myself all over again. i am pretty close to losing my composure - the flood is getting closer; i can feel it. i am trying to hold on to what little dignity. The pain from the bull whip served to make me numb to the discomfort of the anal intrusions. Once again Master said nothing, before proceeding to attach my leather wrist cuffs to the sides of my waist belt. I was then ordered to crawl into the cage, which was then locked.?Have a good nights sleep? were the last of the few words spoken by Master. The lights were turned off and the trio left the room. Needless to say I was unable to sleep and remained awake the whole night, the pain from the whip. More

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