“I’ll look for a job.”“Pastor Luke said he has a custodial job you could handle,” she says. “He has been holding it for you, Jake. You had...better go take it before he has to give it to someone else.”Glorious Light Church is the mega church that your mom has been trying and mostly failing to drag you to for the last two years. She is enamored with the handsome Pastor Luke. You think he’s about as fake as a three dollar bill, but he does have a super hot wife with a huge rack. Maybe she will be. ”“I did. They plan to be here despite their fear that Satan lives in our church!”I shook my head, “According to them, we’re idolaters, worship Mary as a goddess, and do a host of other satanic things, claims which are about as accurate as the claims that early Christians engaged in child sacrifice which supplied the elements for the Eucharist, which was itself the culmination of an orgy!”“What?!” Elizaveta exclaimed.I grinned, “The Romans heard that the early Christians had ‘love feasts’ and. More

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