Aren’t you jealous?”“Extremely. But I’m also extremely excited. Watchingyou two was the most exciting thing that’s everh...ppened to me!” I said.“So you’re not going to try to hit me?” John asked.“No. I doubt if I could anyway, but I really don’teven want to,” I said.“So what are we going to do?” my beautiful wife asked.“Well, why don’t you call your parents and tell themyou’re spending the night. I had screwed up proper! I didn't want to live! I saw a large petrol tanker coming towards my. I delighted in the thought of me splatting into the front of it and my filthy diseased body being shredded beneath its multiple huge wheels, and prepared to swerve into its path. Then that twat in that silly tiny van got in my way! But when the fucking idiot managed to knock me into the hedge I thought perhaps I was finished after all. When I came to in the van I had no fucking idea where I was. More

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