Now, at the ripe old age of twenty-six, I had developed a predilection for the activity. I was, after all, a ‘submissive’ at heart. I’d develope... a psycho-sexuality that caused me to live the reality of ‘it’s better to give then to receive’.Once again, the paddling had stopped but not my crying. It’d been a challenge to keep my face between Tammy’s cheeks while I was being so severely paddled. As I’d begun to cry, it felt like her bottom had quivered with approval. When I began ‘sobbing’ it had. When your life is controlled by drugs, you just learn to accept whatever emotion they plant in you. It's like I don't own any of them. I don't know what's real and what's drug-induced. It's supposed to control the manic-depressive state but most of the time you just don't feel anything. It's okay mostly when it's bringing me up out of depression, but then I never get the really intense drive to complete something. I don't get the high. My voices don't talk." You hear voices?" Oh shit!"Sure.. More

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