"Fucking hell mum" I moaned, "Not now, I've got a headache!" Well I've got just the cure for it," she said firmly and dragged me into what was almost ... standing position if you discount my knuckles dragging on the floor!"Whoopee" I yelled as we staggered into the bathroom, "Watersports" then I coughed and several large clots of blood spurted out of my nose.It took a minute or two for her to get me into the bath and then another couple of minutes to pick me up again."Stand up Tommy" she hissed,. Not a fan of aging? Boom, twenty-six forever. Gravity would prefer you stay on the ground? Fuck you Gravity, we're flying up in this bitch. Your neighbor somehow hasn't transformed into a snail yet? Well I hope he's ready for a one-way ticket to Snailsville, because that's where he's headed. And despite pouring over countless moldy tomes, swearing fealty to endless secret cults and who knows how many blood sacrifices, nothing has ever come of any of this rigorous inquiry besides allergy flare. More

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