I know the whole pathetic story.” She took clear delight in her knowledge. If her opening salvo had been bold, by now she was achieving devil-may-ca...e recklessness. “You whisked her out on the town to a load of hot venues. You took her to Gordon bloody Ramsey’s restaurant, no doubt to impress her with how easily you could get a table. It’s probably the closest you’ll ever come to wooing a woman.” (In her satirical mode she made the word sound like an owl-hoot.) “All that effort just so you. As we washed ourselves he was talking to me about trivial things and I thought to myself ‘it would be beneficial for me if I could stay on his good side’. I walked over to where he was and said “Give me your sponge Sir I’ll get all the mud off your back”, he pondered for a few seconds and said “Ok but don’t ever tell anyone I could get sacked”.He stood under the running water as I sponged down his back rubbing all the mud off, remember I was only 15 and horny as fuck, I’d had relations with. More

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