“It’s not much better for me, either.”“What’s it like for you?” she asked.“Painful,” he said.“Painful? Not sexy?”“Not at all sex.... Mostly just flat out painful. The weight. The holding my breath for so long at a time. The humiliation of being used as a thing by countless total strangers. The filth. Some of these women don’t clean their bottoms very well, or at all. But mostly just unbelievably painful.”“Painful,” she said again. “That’s the last thing I’d have expected you to say, except for. Despite the pain we've inflicted at times, we never turn secrets into ammunition or blades.I've never been very good with people. I see too many things in numbers, quantifiable and tangible measurements. Telling you or anyone else how I feel has never come easy. Such exposure has often terrified me. I mean, is there anything more vulnerable than granting another access to your every weakness? It leaves us naked in ways that bare skin never could.That sector of me shuts down with most people.. More

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