My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth......still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger. "Ok, now what was soooo important that you couldn't wait." I hated her tone, it was as if she were the parent and I was just a c***d who was bothering her with my little problems. "Stacey, we have to talk, I'm getting tired of all these items you keep buying and leaving around the house. "But they are for my new puppy." "Stacey, as I told you before, I will not allow you to get a puppy and that is all there is too it." Finally an accretive tone.. More

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